Cyborg missing

Currently seeking:

Quiet, serious, dutiful Cyberdyne Systems Model 101 missing from military compound 

If seen, please return to Skynet.

Pre-fab Dungeon

Currently seeking:

Ready-made turnkey dungeon. Prefer rack, Iron Maiden and pre-installed wall chains with cuffs.

10% finders fee offered. Have a blessed day.

Manchurian Candidate desired

ISO:

Seeking freshly scrubbed U.S. farm boy for installation in political office 

Must be pliable and enjoy discipline.

Saber Teeth

ISO:

In need of 2-20 full sets of sabertooth tiger teeth, with or without jaws 

No cavities or placque, please.

Hiring Crones

Currently seeking:

Half a dozen shape-shift-positive Crones for remote work. Make new friends, travel the Omniverse 

Soporifics provided.

Umbra trainer

ISO:

Shade tenders and trainers. Must have experience with newborns as well as tweenies 

Compensation package includes mental health therapy

Grand Inquisitor sought

Currently seeking:

Thorough Inquisitor needed for troop of Brownies gone wild in lower west galactic cluster 

Residency in Spain preferred.

Satellite network

ISO:

Network of at least 6 satellites for coordinated use

Must speak binary. 

Aetherean Ink needed

ISO:

A large batch of Aetherean Ink

100 proof preferred.

Demi-god, steady work

ISO:

A demi-god to work an unstable sector

Must have experiences with monsters.

No time to waste

ISO:

Dark Aetherean healing for quantum cell displacement

Money is no object. Time is everything.